Sleep Before Waking

FRUIT FLIES!!!

As you may know from a previous post, I had them in my room despite finding no cause for their appearance. They made me lose my freakin mind.

Up in here, up in here.

My response to the burning hate rage I felt was to hunt them and kill them on a daily basis. I was finding one or two a day, smooshing them into the yellow painted walls of my bedroom, then heading on my merry way to my day. I thought I was destroying them at a good clip, but apparently they were just biding their time. After a week of this system, thinking I had the upper hand, I woke up to find no less than ten of them parked on my bedroom wall. I went ballistic.

ANSWER TO FRUIT FLIES:

(This information comes from my days in Biology class when we approached them from the angle of purposeful breeding and harvest)

Kill the breeding generation.

Kill them all, let God sort them out.

(This method is for geeks like me who enjoy science experiments and killing their enemy with close-up satisfaction.)

1) Get a Zip loc Bag. A big one. With a zip top.

2) Slice a peach and place a good chunk into the bag.

3) Place just slightly open peach bag in room with flies.

4) Walk away. Leave it for hours.

After a day of work, running errands, and tomfoolery, come home to said bag and

5) Quickly close the slight opening and zip bag shut.

6) Watch the fuckers flitting about inside their plastic prison.

7) Laugh maniacally.

8 ) Squish the little buggers one by one screaming, “I sacrifice you for Queen and Country!”

9) Restore the fruit fly trap with fresh peach slices (the fuckers will have laid eggs in the first)

Repeat until there is nothing left to lure in with juicy flesh of fruit.

DESTROY! In the name of all that is holy!

And think of me while you do it. I got a strange satisfaction from the hunt and destruction of those fuckers.